Your Power Posse: The Missing Ingredient in Your Lifestyle Change
Your environment, heavily influenced by people, is pivotal in maximizing your potential and well-being, necessitating a "Power Posse" of diverse, inspiring, and genuine individuals who fuel growth.
The better you are at surrounding yourself with people of high potential, the greater your chance for success. John C. Maxwell
People and relationships are a large part of your environment. The people you surround yourself with can catalyze you to live your life to the fullest and healthiest. We can do it all on our own, but it is unlikely that we will see the success that we hold within ourselves without others. Others can color a situation or give insight to help us reach our goals. Others also can spark creativity for going at something in a new way. They also can help us view failure as learning points, avoiding self-criticism. You, I, and everyone need a Power Posse. Your Power Posse should be comprised of advocates, trusted critics, and people you think are pretty badass. They are not solely made up of your inner circle. To have an epic Power Posse, you must branch outside your circle.
How to Identify and Create Your Power Posse
A Power Posse is made up of your ‘growth network.’ It is easy to let the daily grind keep you from meeting or connecting with these people. So, who should be in your Power Posse? Here are some key characteristics to look for. No one person needs to have all of these, but your Posse should have people in it who can provide these attributes.
They can be quiet and listen.
Some people are a ball of fun, but your power posse should include those who can be still and quiet when good reflection is needed. They should include the people who can help you contemplate the road ahead without letting you criticize yourself for what you haven’t already done or accomplished.
They are authentic.
These people make you feel safe because they are authentic with who they are and how they have failed in their past. They are also the people who didn’t let that failure sink their goals.
They are inspirational.
Your power posse should include the people who are doing the things that you want to do. They are the parents you want to be. They are making time for self-care and are joyful. They also are authentic and not Instagram-perfect all the time. Think of podcast hosts you look up to or parents you occasionally see who parent their kids in a frankly impressive way. Maybe they are a person you have seen from afar in your town who is killing it with something you want to do. Message them, write them a letter asking your questions, or ask if they would mind meeting for coffee.
What The Research Has to Say
First, let's clear the air – "Power Posse" wasn't coined in a science research lab. I shamelessly stole it from a Peloton workout I sweated through a few months ago. Thanks, Robin Arzon! If academic folks wanted their work to sound cooler than "Effect of Social Construct Paradigms," they should've named it "The Power Posse Phenomenon." Way cooler.
Luckily for all of you, I am a proper nerd, so despite the boring titles of research papers, I still read them.
So, "Power Posse" in the research world refers to how our connections influence us. Our connections can make us feel okay about gaining weight, staying in a boring yet comfortable job, quitting smoking, getting a mullet, or giving up wine for January. We'd love it if our friends pushed us to make better decisions, like eating veggies instead of fries. But here's the kicker - we usually befriend people close to our mirror images. We are drawn to people with the same experiences, likes, and dislikes or who enjoy the same flat white oatmilk latte.
In 2009, a couple of business professors at Columbia University, Paul Ingram and Michael Morris, decided to record conversations at social mixers to see how the participants would socialize at on-campus evening chats.
In this experiment, they fitted students and business executives at the university with recording devices and tracked conversations during a typical evening mixer. Shockingly (or not), while 95% of these people said they were "super eager" to mingle and meet fresh faces, half their time was spent with people they already knew.
What you should take from this is that creating your Power Posse will not be super comfortable if you reach outside your normal social circles. But to grow into who you want to become, you must be influenced by those who are more than your doppelgangers. Seek out those who excel where you stumble, like the people who actually use their gym memberships. They're the folks who'll nudge you from your cozy bubble and help you see how you can make the time for the growth that you want.
Dig Deep Action Steps
Get Deliberate: Make a list of the people who are doing what you want to do in a way that you admire.
Get Inspired: Go on a walk and leave your devices at home. Take a pencil and a piece of paper. See if that walk inspires you to think of names to add while you let your mind wander.
Get Going: Write down why you want your own Power Posse. Voice-to-text in your notes or whatever is easiest. Write down the day you will contact each person on your list.